There are some sentences you never expect to hear.
One of those is: "I'm leaving you for a 4'9" circus performer."
Another is: "Facebook is the best bouncer I've ever had."
Yet these words reportedly emerged from the mouth of Tony Mannor, the owner of Finnegan's Irish Pub & Restaurant in Stockton, Calif.
No, he doesn't hire off-duty Facebook developers to stand at the door and intimidate people with the way they dress.
Instead, he insists that if you want to get into his bar after 9 p.m., you have to be one of the bar's Facebook friends.
CBS Sacramento reports that as Finnegan's became more popular, the wrong crowd muscled its way in.
So Mannor tried to think of a way to maintain the bar's inner decorum without having its inner decor destroyed by undesirables.
He liked the idea of people becoming the pub's Facebook friends. Then, he personally screened all the profiles.
Now, customer (and Facebook friend) Debbie Walters told CBS Sacramento: "The bouncer actually stands at the front door with a computer to make sure you're a guest."
There is no greater intimidation than a large man clutching an iPad.
The bar's Facebook page currently enjoys 3,712 Facebook "likes" and around 10,000 friends -- a number which would make for quite some party if they all came at once.
Mannor claims that since he instituted his Facebook bouncer system, almost all the trouble has been eliminated.
I am, though, extremely concerned about Friday night.
For the bar's Facebook page promises: "The SEX ON FIRE Burlesque Show! This is 'Night 2' of the bartender battle! Team Outlaws are bringing THE HEAT with Singer Bo Vixxen and celebrity burlesque performer Minxie! Dont miss out! The show starts at 9pm!"
I fear that Facebook's legendary insistence on ensuring everyone has an honest and genuine profile will be put to a rigorous test for this one night.