The 404 163: Where Wilson eats scorpions, bears, and sharks, oh my!

On today's show: The honorable Clayton Morris joins us for a hilarious high energy show. We recap our Fox News appearance that never came to be, answer the questions you're too afraid to ask your Doctor, relive this decade's greatest meeting of the minds, and quiver in fear over Boeing's newest air-to-ground laser turret.

Clayton Morris, ladies and gentlemen! That's right, The 404's all-time favorite guest steps into the studio this morning and helps us out of our Olympic rut. That's right, you'll be happy to hear that there's absolutely no mention of the Olympics in today's episode. I must admit that Jeff, Wilson, and I are officially Clayton Morris fanboys. Of course, we love (almost) all the guests we have on the show, but it's always a nonstop laughfest when Mr. Morris shows up. After Wilson is done playing into Chinese stereotypes and just generally making the Chinese race look bad, Clayton retells the timeless story of how The 404 almost made it on Fox and Friends. It was a close call, but the stars just didn't line up that day and we ended up getting bumped. But, here's a big thanks to Clayton, Fox and Friends, and the production assistant that spent a week in the dumpster trying to fish out the tape of our 3 minute segment; try tomato juice, friend, works every time. But not to worry! We'll definitely make it back to the Fox studios at some point in the future, and we're more than happy to have Clayton on our small-time outfit.

Taking a cue from the book Why Do Men Have Nipples, Fox and Friends recently had a segment on their show called, "Questions you were always afraid to ask your doctor." Out of the hundreds of anonymously submitted e-mails, Clayton chooses a few to tell us about, and (without giving too much away) I'll just say that Clayton drops a "T" bomb that I'm almost positive has never been said on The 404. I'll give you hint: it sort of rhymes with "vegetables." Aside from that, I don't think I'd feel comfortable even writing the other questions they received-- you'll just have to listen to the show to get Clayton's take. If you have some embarrassingly disturbing questions you'd like to have answered over a live TV broadcast, feel free to send them to Fox and Friends at "friends{at}foxnews{dot}com." I know they'll get at least one from The 404 about the mysterious rash on Jeff's underbelly.

Next, Jeff and I replay the groundbreaking event that occurred right here at the CNET NY offices. New York experienced the first ever overlap between video games and printers, a "beat mash-up," if you will. It was crazy, let me tell you: in a scene only Jackson Pollock could appreciate, we successfully altered the cover image for Madden '09 and printed it out on full color photo paper! We tell the entire story to an astounded Wilson Tang, who almost falls out of his seat when he hears about our great partnership. Personally, I can't recall such a triumphant assemblage since President Ronald Reagan traveled to Geneva in November 1985 for a summit meeting with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev. It was nothing short of a miracle.

We wrap up the episode with a little bro-down sesh with Clayton. We show him the pre- and post-photoshopped pictures of the new Lara Croft (definitely NSFW), explore the multiple uses of an air-to-ground laser turret, and discuss how to smuggle an air bazooka into a food court. All that and plenty more filth from our sloppy mouths, so enjoy! Finally, check out a few pictures that were sent to us by various listeners from around the world--we clearly have listeners in very high places.

EPISODE 163