Teens allegedly drug parents' milkshakes to get online
Police say two teenage girls drugged the parents of one so that they could beat an imposed Internet curfew.
Sometimes the lure of Snapchat, Facebook, and Miley Cyrus' latest blouse can be too much.
It can lead you to iniquities. It can lead you to dishonoring your own family.
At least this is alleged to be the case in Placer County, Calif., where two teenage girls stand accused of spiking milkshakes in order to get online.
You might imagine that getting online doesn't normally involve involuntary unconsciousness. It normally results in it.
Police say, however, that one of the girls had parents with rules. As The Sacramento Bee describes it, the Internet was shut down at 10 p.m. every night at one of the girls' houses.
Yes, 10 p.m. That's at least 30 minutes before you can expect to hear the latest about whether Janice made out with Todd, the stoner from Vacaville.
So the allegation goes that one of the girls, aged 15, volunteered to pick up milkshakes at a local dining establishment.
When the parents began to sip and slurp, they allegedly found that these shakes tasted somewhat odd -- "grainy" was one word the police reported.
This might have been because one of their ingredients was a prescription sleep aid.
Still, the parents drank enough to fall asleep. They woke up at 1 a.m. and felt rougher than postbender.
So, as Lt. Lon Milka (no, I am not making up his name) told the Bee, they went to the Rocklin police station, which has a very nice side business selling drug test kits for $5. Apparently, parents routinely test their kids these days.
Please imagine the parents' glee when, in this instance, they discovered they themselves had tested positive.
One of the girls reportedly told the police that the parents' Internet policy was just too draconian.
Milka told the Bee: "The girls wanted to use the Internet, and they'd go to whatever means they had to."
The two teens have been charged with conspiracy and "willfully mingling a pharmaceutical with food."
It is unclear whether there had been any negotiation between the teens and the parents before this alleged radical action took place.
Here, though, we only seek a moral to the story. It is this: Parents, always keep a drug testing kit around, just in case.