The soul-selling industry used to be fraught with shady underground deals involving facing crossroads and meeting demons in dark alleys. A new site called Soul Compare is looking to bring the soul market out of the shadows.
Before you can sell your soul, however, you need to have a good idea of its worth. Soul Compare uses your Facebook presence to weigh your value. It looks at your friendships, photos, comments, and how many "Likes" you've spread around.
All your Facebook information is then translated into gigaMorgans. One gigaMorgan is equal to the value of television host Piers Morgan's soul. I ran the numbers and came in at 25.3 gigaMorgans. I'm guessing I should feel pretty good that I haven't sunk into negative gigaMorgans.
Once you've measured your soul, Soul Compare gives you offers in exchange for it. My offers included a $2 discount on any Whopper from Burger King, 24,000 air miles from MasterCard, vengeance over my enemies from Anubis, and a warm Welsh baritone from Tom Jones. (Keep in mind that none of these soul offers gives you anything substantive. You'll just have to go on faith that Tezcatlipoca will grant you forgiveness for your sins or Tom Jones will show up to serenade you.)
Ultimately, I decided to cut a deal with Cthulhu, H.P. Lovecraft's cosmic monster who will consume us all, in exchange for a temporary reprieve from being devoured. Once I selected that option, I received the following note: "Done! Congratulations. A representative will be in touch shortly. Please wait for the knock on your door, the scratching in the night, or the feeling of all-consuming cosmic dread on the event of your death."
I did discover a way to game the Soul Compare system. You can close your acceptance message and then accept other offers. Tom Jones, I'm now the owner of your warm Welsh baritone. Please report to my home in New Mexico immediately.