Hipster-riffic Skinnyfatties service slims down your chunky neckties
Got a fat, out-of-date necktie? Send it in to Skinnyfatties, a service that transforms chunky neckwear into hip, slim suit accessories.
At first, I thought it was a new diet fad. I was wrong. A media pitch arrived in my inbox with the all-caps subject "SKINNYFATTIES." Turns out it's "the world's first and only online necktie slimming company." This is a rather specific area of fashion we're talking about here, concerning the transformation of fat, uncool neckties into hipster-slim adornments.
Tie fashion is fickle. Once upon a time, wide ties were in. Then, gaunt New Wave ties became the hot look. Now we're somewhere in between, but the hipster world tends to favor slim ties. The Skinnyfatties service is meant to save your favorite tie, that one that was made in the '70s back when ties were the size of baseball bats, from the dumpster or donation bin.
Ties can be slimmed down to a variety of widths, ranging from 2 inches (50 millimeters) up to 3.5 inches (90 millimeters). Pricing to have a single tie transformed is $30 (about £20, AU$40). Prices go down with bulk orders. You're probably not going to want to pay for this service to alter your $10 Target tie, but it could come in handy for vintage ties with unique patterns or expensive designer ties that need to be updated.
You may be wondering how slim is slim enough for a tie. Skinnyfatties takes over with an online tie-width recommendation engine. You tell it if you plan to wear the tie with or without a blazer, if you're wearing it to work, what your body type is or if you're sporting it to a formal or casual event. It then either gives you a specific size recommendation or tells you to measure the lapel of your jacket to find the sweet spot.
Now all you need to complete your geek hipster look is a Gentleman's Single-Use Monocle, a Skinnyfatties necktie and a Focus Designs self-balancing electric unicycle.
