Pornoogle: Yes, a search engine just for porn

ICM Registry, the folks behind all those helpful .xxx domains, says its next step is to create a search engine exclusively for porn. It is to launch tomorrow.

Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

It's a filthy nuisance trying to find a movie with three bisexual men and a hula dancer from New Jersey.

It's aggravating beyond acceptance not to be able to instantly discover 5 minutes of rubber-suited short people doing things that may or may not be suited to those above 3-foot-6.

It's not as if Google or Hollywood is fulfilling these needs.

So what joy to those of an imaginative -- or simply needy -- bent that topless men and women on white horses are galloping to the rescue.

For I bring news that tomorrow will see a search engine exclusively for pornography. Yes, tomorrow.

You will be snapped out of your stiff corporate posture to learn that ICM Registry, the people who brought you those very helpful, if still slightly under-used , .xxx domains, intends to launch this Pornoogle.

ICM's CEO Stuart Lawley told Network World that 21 million of the fine .xxx pages have been categorized and are ready to be uncovered on SearchXXX.

In case you might be skeptical, he told Network World: "It's porn, only porn, all porn. There's as much porn there as anyone would need, I'd imagine."

Imagination does tend to reside solely in the hands of the beholder. Still, Lawley promises your experience will be free of viruses.

For this he credits durable products made by McAfee.

Naturally, some might be suspicious that this little wriggling for supremacy might have something to do with Google adjusting its algorithm in order to downgrade porn sites, in favor of more, well, educative sexual matter.

As Lawley put it: "Google, in their wisdom, has decided that's more relevant to what their customers are looking for."

Clearly, anyone who goes to the new .xxx search engine will be in little doubt as to what they are seeking -- relief from life's drudgery.

Lawley promises that the new search engine's experience will be both calm and ad-free. Yes, just like Google, until recent pressures sent it to the commercial dogs .

I know that many will already be experiencing suitable palpitations at the prospect of tomorrow's launch.

For myself, I'm merely wondering whether it'll have an "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.

 

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