'Phaser' remote for lonely Saturday nights

Apparently, attraction to the opposite sex isn't nearly as important as it used to be. That's the only explanation we can fathom for the continuing trend of new Star Trek items on the market.

The latest date repellant is a $70 "Phaser Universal Remote Control," which claims to feature sound effects from the original series provided by Paramount. Alas, Red Ferret notes that it's already sold out. (What a surprise.)

But don't despair, Sparky. If you play your cards right, you might still be able to score a "Lightsaber Umbrella."