Surveys are the naked selfies of the intellectual.
They reveal so much, yet the whole story seems rarely there. Some, indeed, reek of total fakery.
As if to satiate me on demand, a survey inserted itself into my e-mail and begged for attention. Its sponsors claimed to be "surprised by the utter lack of interest in Android owners switching over to the new iPhone."
This being a digital world, the level of utter surprise had a number. A mere 5 percent of Android users in this survey said they were "very likely" to switch to Apple's new, purportedly bigger and more juicy phone.
In times of heady excitement, naivete is my crutch. So I asked how many Android users said they were merely "likely" to switch to iPhone 6. It seems that this survey didn't actually have a "likely" answer. However, 12.4 percent of Android users ticked the box marked "somewhat likely."
Might one conclude that 17.4 percent of Android users are some kind of likely to switch?
None of these 17.4 percent of Android users have actually seen the iPhone 6 at all. So their responses might have as much meaning as the average Abba song.
There again, what if this iPhone 6 is a stunning surprise? It might come in an irresistibly fetching pink. It might sing your favorite song to you first thing in the morning. It might only cost an arm and a shinbone, not a whole leg.
This might persuade Android users that it's a must-have. Or it might persuade the brave 5 percent that they'd rather own a beer glass with a keyboard than an iPhone 6.
Still, research company Survata, whose survey services are used by many Fortune 100 companies, insists that its analysis of these 889 consumers between September 2 and 4 shows a trend.
It suggests that the iOS and Android operating systems are embedding their acolytes to such a degree that there has been deep encampment.
The Survata methodology involves approaching potential respondents on sites around the Web and asking if they want to complete a brief survey to unlock premium content on those sites. The company says it believes respondents reply honestly and that, in this case, there was a 3.3 percent margin of error. The respondents did, though, self-report which phones they currently own.
Naturally, iPhone owners expressed a markedly more excited mien about the new phone.
36 percent of iPhone 5 owners said they were "very likely" to upgrade. Well, that two-year contract is up around now, isn't it? 18 percent of iPhone 5S and 15 percent of iPhone 5C owners also expressed their extreme likelihood.
Still, there's that allegedly troubling 5 percent figure for Android users. It's even more troubling when one considers how few BlackBerry users will supposedly be moving to the Apple device: a mere 6 percent.
Nothing, though, can deter -- at least according to this survey -- the loyalty of the Windows Phone people. A mere 3 percent said they would move over to, for them, the dark side.