Those crafty Microsoft "Laptop Hunters" have been telling you for weeks now that PCs are value and Macs are vanity.
So, while you cling on to what's left of your 401(k) with what's left of your fingernails, here comes a nice blond-haired man to tell you that it costs $30,000 to fill up the latest iPod. Assuming you use iTunes.
Well, I had never thought of it that way. Those little iPod thingies can hold that many songs? Goodness me.
Then I look back at the nice blond-haired man who is advertising the Zune Pass and think: "Hold on, I know you."
Yes, this is Wes Moss, a very nice chap who survived 11 weeks of Donald Trump on "The Apprentice." Which would classify him as a very, very nice chap indeed.
Wes is, allegedly, a certified financial planner. And this new TV ad for the Zune Pass shows that he has done very well for himself.
At WesMoss.com, you can discover some of the principles by which Wes lives long and prospers. The prime phrase seems to be: "Make more. Worry less."
It is a message Wes is very keen to propagate. Indeed, he has a message to anyone organizing, for example, a conference: "Let me know if your speakers have been boring lately--and I'll be happy to come try to lighten things up!"
Wes is, indeed, quite light on his mouth as he explains that if you're one those people hooked on iTunes, you should dedicate $14.99 each month for a Zune Pass. It will make you happier, wealthier and wiser.
Now, I wasn't all that familiar with Zune Pass, but I understand that it allows you to keep 10 songs every month as your own. I know those of you who have technology as one of the permanent buttons on your shirt will correct me if I am even in the remotest part mistaken.
But wouldn't this mean that in order to get those 30,000 songs (which, to me, feels like the goal of having 100,000 Facebook friends, but still...), you would have to wait, let's see, 12 times 10 is 120. 30,000 divided by 120, that would be 250 years, no? And perhaps even more money than $30,000.
Clearly there is something I don't understand, even though Wes is keen to tell me that "one costs a lot and one costs a little." Oh, I see, you just rent the rest of the songs, yes? You get bored of Cat Stevens and you just give him back? Won't Cat be offended? Do they have a list of songs returned? Would Coldplay be at the top?
Still, I do like the fact that this ad has a stance and a familiar face and makes me think that Zune Pass exists. Which means that Zune exists.
Which made me just try another calculation. $15 a month into $30,000, um, that would be 167 years? More or less?
Which means I will make more and worry less with Zune Pass! Because in 167 years, more or less, I will not be here, more or less.
Oh, please tell me. What have I missed here?