New Galaxy S4 ad trashes Apple: iPhone is so old

Having gotten over its tame international launch of the S4, Samsung's American arm resumes its denigration of Apple, suggesting only old folks own an iPhone.

Oh, Dad. You're so dumb. Samsung/Vimeo Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

You thought it might be all over?

You thought that Samsung had tired of suggesting Apple was a fading brand for geriatrics?

You may also have thought that the world runs on Cabernet and common sense.

Yes, the Galaxy S4 was launched on a rocket of the beige and the tasteless. But those were just the corporate folks doing their thing.

Now, the American arm of Samsung has returned to its own style. This involves squishing Apple till it's cider.

Here we are at a high school graduation pool party presented by the latest Samsung ad.

The cooler people all have the new Galaxy S4. The slightly less cool people all have iPhones.

The slightly less cool people might loosely be described as parents. (I say "loosely," because parenting just isn't what it used to be, is it?)

As the party rolls on and the soft drinks flow, the iPhone-owning parents begin to realize just how retrograde they are.

These snotty kids can answer their phones by merely waving at them.

They can kiss their phones together to transmit data to each other, too. It's as if the tactile love that was so prevalent in the '60s has now been transposed to the gadgets of the '10s.

"So some smartphones are smarter than other smartphones?" muses one graybeard, who looks like he's been addled by too much Cointreau and lawyering.

Meanwhile, the Beverly Hills 902013s continue to humiliate the olds with their technical wizardry.

Yes, the Galaxy S4 even works as your TV remote, you dye-haired daddy doddering toward dotage.

This tweaking of the Apple cheek has been going on for a while now, and it's becoming enjoyably brutal.

The positioning of Apple as a faded dame might remind some of Mac vs. PC, when the pitiful blobbery of Microsoft was exposed by Apple for all to see and laugh at.

Shoe, meet other foot.

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