Dear Krispy, I'm breaking up with you. Thanks to the new Automatic Mini Donut Factory, there is no longer any reason to venture out into the world.
The $179.99 doughnut maker from Nostalgia Electrics sits on your kitchen counter and magically transforms raw doughnut batter into little halos of sin. All the flipping and frying is handled automatically, with your treats popping out at the far end of the machine.
Safety windows let you observe the action without accidentally frying your fingers. It even has a component called the "donut slide."
The device makes 30 mini doughnuts per batch, features a drip tray to siphon off a little of the grease, and plays the "Hallelujah" chorus as each hot doughnut arrives. OK, I made up that last feature.
It takes about 90 seconds to go from batter to fatter. The finished doughnuts can be eaten plain, iced, covered in powdered sugar, or dosed with maple syrup with a piece of bacon on top. Don't knock it til you've tried it.
I'm hopeful someone will come up with a doughnut bong to deliver the little morsels directly to your mouth from the machine. Get busy, makers.