Megan Fox struggles with Twitter
The famed movie star and director announced on Facebook that she has shut down her Twitter account. But like a monster from the deep, it's still alive.
Twitter is an acquired taste.
There are some who bathe in its immediacy and randomness. Others raise an eyebrow in condescending contemplation.
Hundreds of thousands of sentient beings were recently uplifted when Megan Fox, she of many wonderful movies whose names one doesn't always remember -- decided to plunge into Twitter's dark waters.
She set up an account. She offered some unrehearsed lines.
Then on Wednesday, her fifth day tweeting, she hit a wall: "5 days on Twitter and I have yet to discern it's purpose. #WhatIsThePoint ???"
Some of her more than 260,000 followers implored her to keep going. They suggested she offer her "thoughts." Some merely begged her to tell them how much she loved them.
One, @FechoX, replied wisely: "@meganfox there's no such thing as a point on Twitter... but you if you want I'll explain you over dinner.
Fox seemed unmoved.
Worse, she turned to the pages of a deadly competitor -- yes, Facebook -- to make a horrific announcement:
Some of you may, or may not have noticed by now that my Twitter account has been shut down...I thought that 2013 might be the year that I finally blossomed into a social networking butterfly... but as it turns out I still hate it. Love you guys but I will just never be that girl. Facebook is as much as I can handle.#I'm Sorry
In an astonishing act of misguided support, 87,744 of her Facebook fans clicked the "like" button in support of these words.
But I bring news. Fox's Twitter account has not (yet) been shut down. I just opened it. It is very much alive, though barely wriggling.
Is this the time for the 266,964 who follow her on Twitter to stand up against the 314,497 who are talking about her Facebook page -- which has received a quite blockbusterish 39,386,101 "likes"?
Megan, Twitter is about spontaneity, bad spelling, and the occasional regret.
It isn't like Facebook. Facebook is for the ponderous, the dull, the ancient. All the teens.
And you know you need to take the teens with you, don't you?