Man, mad at Internet seller, texts him Shakespeare (all of it)

A UK graphic designer is so annoyed when he doesn't receive a PS3 he bought online that he becomes the croaking raven bellowing for revenge. (Look it up)

He wrote a lot. Bio/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Getting mad occasionally results in getting even, but often only in getting madder.

Ultimately, the whole point of revenge isn't even to get even at all. It's to feel that you have.

Edd Joseph needed to feel better about an internet transaction. As the Bristol Post declaims it, he bought a PS3 online for 80 British pounds (around $132) on the Gumtree site and the transaction went perfectly.

Except for the tiny detail that he didn't receive his PS3.

This he deemed an arrow of outrageous fortune. So he mulled and cogitated and pondered and thought therefore of revenge and ceased to weep. (Oh, it's "Henry VI," if you must know).

The 24-year-old Joseph fell upon the realization that you can copy and paste things from the Web and send them as texts.

He told the Post: "It got me thinking, 'what can I send to him,' which turned to 'what is a really long book,' which ended with me sending him 'Macbeth.'"

Joseph was mad because he knew he couldn't get his money back. He'd paid by bank transfer (which is against Gumtree's terms and conditions.)

On the other hand, he had an iPhone. He realized that with just one pressing of "send" he could text a whole play to his alleged scoundrel.

So he cried havoc and let slip the dogs of war. One text for him was 792 texts for the receiving party.

This was quite some dagger he saw before him. For he had an unlimited text plan, to complement his need to inflict pain. Why not send all Shakespeare's works?

Not all Shakespeare plays are the same length. "Hamlet" is the longest. Yes, that one would have amounted to 1,143 texts at the receiver's end. In total, Joseph hopes to complete his task of sending all Shakespeare's plays, which ought to result in 29,305 texts.(He says he's already sent 22 plays.)

You might wonder whether the alleged bad guy responded.

Joseph said: "I got the first reply after an hour, and then a few more abusive messages after that. His phone must have been going off pretty constantly for hours."

This is not deterring Joseph.

"I'm going to keep doing it. If nothing else I'm sharing a little bit of culture with someone who probably doesn't have much experience of it," he explained.

There's one small part I don't quite grasp. If this story is as Joseph describes, why doesn't the seller just block his number?

Perhaps he's afraid that parting will be sweet sorrow.

 

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