Man allegedly cuts Internet, TV wires 'to relieve brain'
A Minneapolis man allegedly believes that his brain is suffering excessive pressures from wires that conduct data and voices. He takes action.
Is it all getting too much?
Is your thinking crooked, your logic frazzled, and your every wire crossed?
Perhaps it's time to go and cut yourself off from your phone and Internet. No, not metaphorically, but literally.
That was allegedly the slightly illegal thought-process of Raymond Bischoff of Hastings, Minn.
As CBS Minnesota wires it, Bischoff, 65, allegedly thought it best to cut the wires and cables that happened to connect a local business to the Internet, the phone service, and even the satellite TV because he wanted to "relieve the pressure on his brain."
Some might be confused by the fact that this business didn't actually employ Bischoff.
Indeed, he claimed to be merely staying at a local hotel. However, police say he admitted to cutting the wires and cables on as many as three separate occasions with a small blade.
He was caught only when police saw him lurking without obvious intent in a nearby parking lot, as they were observing the wires being repaired.
In a cruel stamp of fate, his footprints in the snow matched those found near the scene of the crime.
The affected business will, no doubt, feel relieved that he admitted he was behind its sudden outages and now faces a charge of felony criminal damage.
One question, though, appears yet to be asked.
When he allegedly cut the wires and cables, did his brain feel any better?