Kobe, Lakers, and Dwight Howard: Antisocial media
The minute Dwight Howard decides to leave the Lakers for Houston, he is unfollowed on Twitter by Kobe Bryant. Then an Instagram account purporting to be that of the Lakers' Jodie Meeks posts a pic of Howard as a woman.
There's a certain beauty about NBA players.
Those bulging biceps, taut triceps, and quads more powerful than quad bikes make them seem superhuman.
Indeed, Dwight Howard once decided to dress as Superman for an NBA Slam Dunk Contest.
Inside, though, these men are mere children, looking for a loving home and friends they can play with.
Should you have been too busy negotiating with several countries for a secure apartment and Wi-Fi connection, you might not be aware that Dwight Howard announced on Friday he would be joining the Houston Rockets.
His former teammates were distressed. You might imagine, though, that they would magnanimously wish him luck, even if they didn't mean it.
You might imagine that some goats eat only Jackson Pollock paintings. For, as the Bleacher Report paints it, one of the first things Kobe Bryant did was unfollow Howard on Twitter.
"I'm not playing with YOU anymore! So, hmph!"
Bryant then leaped to Instagram to post an image of himself and Pau Gasol, with the message: ""#vamos #juntos #lakercorazon #vino."
I can, at least, concur with him on the "#vino" part.
It was left, it seemed, to Bryant's fellow Laker Jodie Meeks to raise the level of socially networked debate to a truly exalted level.
For, as The Sporting News reports, Meeks was allegedly incensed that Howard had unfollowed all the Lakers' social-media accounts. (A cursory glance at Howard's account shows that he still follows Meeks, some Lakers fans, and even Joe Jonas.)
In order to supposedly show this displeasure, the JodieMeeks20 Instagram account -- which has since evaporated and become a LakersForever account -- featured an image of Howard as a WNBA player.
"He's not playing with us anymore! So he must be a girl!!"
Meeks, on his official Twitter account, denies that this image was posted by his good self: "Woww! I don't even have an instagram. Whoever that is needs to stop it!! #peoplethesedays."
It seems slightly odd that any Lakers would be excessively perturbed by the departure of an often-injured player whose best years might have been in Orlando.
The need, though, to express any form of pouting via social media should cheer us all.
In a quiet moment, we know that our inner teen burns inside us like a permanently dissatisfied vampire, making our blood boil because it tastes better that way.
How comforting that even those who make fortunes entertaining us for half a year are still in touch with their most raw emotions.
And if Twitter and Instagram aren't there to expose our raw innards, what are they for?
News? Oh, please.