"In New York City, that mother****** is going to get hit by a car."
Such was Jon Stewart's exasperated verdict yesterday on anyone wearing Google's new augmented-reality glasses. This was not the only concern shared by "The Daily Show" host.
Google is, after all, the "world's biggest database of people whizzing in public." With these glasses, it will be as if these people "are peeing right in your eye."
In this busy and slightly insane week for tech, Stewart didn't stop his piss-take with Google. For there was Facebook's purchase of Instagram to dismember.
Once the Instagram photo app was explained to him by excited members of the news media, Stewart's reaction was: "Wow. That's really lame."
Told that the purchase price was $1 billion, a stunned Stewart mused: "A billion dollars of money? For a thing that kind of ruins your pictures?"
Bemused and befuddled, Stewart had to turn to his senior youth correspondent, Jessica Williams.
Williams explained that it was cheaper than a time machine. And, before Instagram, you'd need a time machine to make your pictures look like they were taken in the 60s.
"Old people never like new or fun things," explained Williams. Which doesn't explain how Goldman Sachs' Lloyd Blankfein rather liked the new, fun financial wheezes created by his young, excitable troops.
And so we laugh along, as we wonder why we have never quite been able to hoodwink anyone into believing one of our own ideas is worth a billion dollars. Or even a million.