Wouldn't you like to take molly with CNN's Fareed Zakaria?
It won't cost you that much. Perhaps a little pride. But for that you might simultaneously ingest all sorts of geopolitical knowledge that will make you a changed person. Or even a political news presenter.
Why am I dangling this idea before you? Because in order to raise $10 billion to buy CNN, Jon Stewart has come up with certain rewards to smooth your philanthropic path.
The site, which currently seems to be somewhat overloaded, offers this explanation: "CNN, America's first 24-hour cable news network, has been terrible for many, many years. Does it have to be that way? Who knows, maybe it does. So let's find out for ourselves!"
The Zakaria night out will cost you $25,000. However, for just $10,000, you can be in a "signature CNN mass shooting coverage 6-box."
If you have $1 million rattling around an old pantsuit, that will allow you to host "a CNN anchor Hunger Games fight to the death."
If you happen to have $5 million handy to contribute to this cause, CNN will run a two-week, 24-7 hunt for your missing car keys.
Stewart has long been an admirer of cable news, so this is a logical step in attempting to take it to newer and greater heights.
Of course, those that worry Rupert Murdoch will get his hands on CNN and the rest of Time Warner believe that CNN would have to be sold off, as regulations wouldn't allow the media mogul to own so much.
But what if it was merged with Fox, and Bill O'Reilly and Wolf Blitzer co-hosted disaster coverage?
Now you see why that $10 billion is vital?