What did Catelyn Stark wear at her wedding to avoid her "deep-seated fear of the color red?" What kind of dinner was served at Daenerys Targaryean and Khal Drogo's nuptials? What would have been the after-ceremony entertainment had Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell ever gotten married?
These are the deep questions pondered by the wedding-minded folks over at ring-pedaling site Brilliance.com. They've compiled an infographic and a series of online cards that imagine what some of the "Game of Thrones" characters' weddings would have been like -- whether they happened or not.
On the infographic, the imaginative information is divided into categories like Reception Entertainment (Loras and Renly's would have been "a medieval drag show and jousting"); Dinner (Jon Snow and Ygritte's would have been "pretty standard except for the human flesh for the wildlings in attendance"); First Song (Jaime and Cersei's would have been "Sister" by Prince); and Not Invited (no slave owners at the khaleesi's wedding).
The graphic cards go into more detail about the big days for some of the big houses in Westeros. For example, I bet you didn't realize that Jamie and Cersei's wedding was held in the "dank turret of an abandoned castle in Lannisport" and was attended by "only a couple of their favorite indentured servants (all of whose tongues had been sliced out by Cersei prior to the ceremony)." Or that even though "some people prefer the Electric Slide for entertainment at a wedding, the Dothraki opt for murder and public sex acts -- hey you paid for the dance floor, use it as you see fit, right?"
The graphics certainly don't form a tale of traditional romances, but this is "Game of Thrones" we're talking about, so if you're a fantasy fan, this just might put you in the mood for love. If it does, remember that you can always emulate Jon Snow, who apparently would have "sculpted a diamond out of a decapitated White Walker's eye and presented it to (Ygritte) on one knee." Aw, how sweet.