You'll have barely been able to function lately, because your neuroses have encamped themselves in your brain.
First, Apple told you that you're a corpulent lump of detritus, unless you employ all the fine fitness apps on an iPhone 5S.
Then you were told that you couldn't be a perfect parent without an iPhone 5S.
What was left? Work. In a new ad, the company rectifies this. You are, indeed, an imperfect, ancient being unless you use all the fine apps on your iPhone 5S to live the American "dream" of working and working and working.
Some might wonder whether Apple was spurred by Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella's recent championing of productivity.
However, this is surely the next logical step in understanding that if there isn't an app for it, then it isn't worth making money out of.
Here we see a jeweler, a doctor, a vet, firemen, a painter -- indeed, everyone but the candlestick maker -- availing themselves of apps on their iPhone 5S in order to perform their tasks more efficiently.
It's beautifully done. The music walks that very fine line between mesmerizing and haunting.
In the end, though, it serves most to show just how phone-dependent we have become. If it isn't in the little box, then it isn't at all.
The charm of it all is that the message tells you "You're more powerful than you think." So, oddly enough, is the company that made your phone.
This post would have been written on an iPhone 5S, but my fingers were too fat, likely because I haven't used the fitness apps on an iPhone 5S.