Huawei and the Jonas Brothers: A match made in paradise?

The slightly controversial Chinese gadget maker is teaming with the Jonas Brothers to sponsor their coming tour. How heavenly a pairing is this?

This is what a Jonas Brother looks like. Jonas Brothers/Vevo Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

This might seem like Fred Astaire and Carrot Top.

It might resemble that little-known double-act Putin and Tutu.

For some, it might even conjure Jerry Falwell and Jenna Jameson.

Here, you see, is news that the squeakiest of squeaky clean musical acts, the Jonas Brothers, are getting together with slightly more controversial gadget maker Huawei.

A breathless announcement is currently dancing before my eyes. It reveals that Huawei is to sponsor the Jonas Brothers' new tour, which, as you know, begins July 10 in Chicago.

There will be some who might blanch at this peculiar congress, which appears to be an attempt to pour a little pristine Listerine past the lips of Huawei's uncertain brand image.

Some accuse the company of being an agent of Chinese agents, though a White House report allegedly found no evidence of any such activity .

My own initial encounter with Huawei did leave me with a shiver in several places.

At CES this year, I entered its booth with open heart and mind, only to encounter a rather heavy uniformed security presence , which wasn't exactly uniform to other cell phone makers there.

I was told by a security man -- with a logo on his sweater that read: "Special Operations" -- that he was there to protect the company's "proprietary technology."

I wasn't aware that anyone had proprietary cell phone technology, save for Apple.

Might Huawei embrace the Jonas Brothers fans with arms slightly more akimbo? Or might the brothers be keen to rid themselves of some of their pristine flavor?

Indeed, earlier this year Radar Online reported that fans approached Joe Jonas and his girlfriend late one night, only to be rebuffed in allegedly stiff terms.

Yes, terms such as: We do so much for you. We do everything, and you want a picture? Get out of here."

Personally, I cannot even cope with the idea of a Jonas Brother smoking, so this report sent me into paroxysms of despair for quite some time.

I am, therefore, a little wary of the promise from the Huawei PR people that part of its sponsorship will involve "meet-and-greets" with the brothers themselves.

Should one bring one's own cigarettes? Should one be prepared for moodiness and tantrums? Will there be genuflection involved?

And how should one take this sentence from Huawei's PR materials: "Huawei Device believes that everyone can be the center of information"?

I don't want any company -- least of all one accused of spying -- to think I'm the center of information. I have no information, Huawei. Truly. I am nobody. I'm just a Jonas Brothers fan. (That should fool them.)

Perhaps, though, I worry too much. Perhaps this is the perfect commingling of two forces for good, ready to spread the gospel of love and sharing.

A positive indicator is the title of the Jonas Brothers' new single. It is called "Pom-Poms." (Embedded here.)

However, I listened carefully to the lyrics: "Baby, put your pom-poms down for me."

This doesn't feel squeaky-clean at all.

 

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