How to get drunk and yell at random members of Congress
A site called DrunkDialCongress lets you do the one (well, two) things you're dying to do most right now.
The buffoons in Congress might now be talking.
But you, I feel, are beyond all that. You want to ululate. You want to fulminate. And you want to lubricate.
There is a new site that will help you do all three.
Welcome to DrunkDialCongress.org. It's a .org because its intentions are entirely public-spirited, with equal emphasis on the "public" and the "spirit."
Its mission statement is clear: "Whether you are a furloughed worker, being forced to work for free, or just fed up at Capitol Hill. CALL & YELL AT A RANDOM MEMBER OF CONGRESS."
Just in case you aren't clear, the site adds: "As Members of Congress quickly returned from their final symbolic, non-effective and otherwise useless votes to avert a government shutdown, the heavy drinking began. Reports of our representatives getting plastered on the government's dime -- the one we have left -- have come streaming in from witnesses all over Capitol Hill. Now's your chance to tell your Representative what you really think of their actions."
The site's mechanism is very simple. Once you enter your number, a voice calls you and tells you how fed up he is.
He is slurry, but kind. For he then connects you to a random member of the House of Representatives, so that you can express your heightened sensibilties.
In my case, I was put through to Rep. Lynn Westmoreland from the 3rd Rock Under the Sun. I am sorry, I meant from the 3rd District of Georgia.
I didn't stop to chat. In any case, I understand that Rep. Westmoreland is busy trying to get "some type of win out of this."
There are only losers here, I fear.
This might be why DrunkDialCongress offers not only talking points, but drinking recipes.
The most engaging? The Bloody Bastard. 1 part sour mix, 1 part vodka, 1 tbsp grenadine syrup.
We all surely have sour mix readily available.