Have you ever had a lover look at you forlornly and say: "I went to my astrologer today and she says that you're never going to be right for me"?
And this after months and months of calling each other "Pookie."
Now instead of fighting these astral schemers, you can join them. For Astrology Dating.com is galloping in on a white horse in order to show you what astrolove truly is.
The site's beta tag has been removed just in time to make February 14 a date you will always remember. The site told me it already has 15,000 users. And founder Hilary Young said in a press release: "Nearly 29 percent of Americans look to astrology for life and love advice. My goal is to create a thriving community where they can connect and find love."
You might already be snorting into your cafe au lait. I, being a believer in all insanities, thought I'd try it. My purpose was simple: I wanted to see whether Young would tell me only good things, as so many seaside astrologers tend to do.
I wanted to see whether her very clever pitch--you can choose a pay-per-match option because, in her words, "one match may be all it takes to make the right connection"--might sway the world.
So I gave her the birth date, birth time, and birth place of two friends who like each other very much. Young, you see, bases her site on natal astrology. She said she needed no more information.
I waited for her report. I still haven't told the friends what I did, because her report was quite startling.
"These two should probably not be together," she said. She used the word annoyed several times. She added: "There will be a lot of opportunities to misunderstand each other's basic motivation."
Aren't all motivations basic? Perhaps not in love.
Young, though, was merely warming to her analysis. Here's what came next: "This is the classic case of why good friends shouldn't get together sexually. These two have a good time together, so could be tempted by the question, 'why not translate that into a sexual relationship?' That question seems easily answered by the Sun square Moon dynamic that notes there is a lot of agitation between these two people."
I had never considered the Sun square Moon dynamic. So I sighed deeply. For these two are clearly quite happy. I know them well. I couldn't read on, although I did notice that, apparently, like signs are compatible and these two weren't.
You are now left with the dilemma of whether Astrology Dating.com can find you the match that is currently eluding you in the stars. The pay-per-match option is a mere 99 cents, so that might be a good place to experiment.
I am left with the dilemma of what to tell my friends. How do I tell them they can only ever be good friends? How can I warn them that they are sexually incompatible--especially when I fear they may already know otherwise?
Is your love written in the stars? Perhaps you should find out for yourself. You might need only a dollar to find yourself star-kissed.