I am not really Batman, despite what I tell girls on dates, but if I had this badass Bat utility belt I could maybe convince them otherwise. I mean, it's only $279 and could easily hold all my portable gadgets, plus my wallet and a young lady's heart (not literally, of course).
The 38-inch-wide belt is made of faux leather and has eight pouches with Batman logo emblems on the snaps, as well as a gold-plated metal buckle with a Batman logo emblem. It'll be available in June of '10, but Entertainment Earth is taking preorders now. In addition, it's a licensed replica, so you won't have lawyers coming after you like the Joker's henchmen. But even if you did, you'd have the included smoke bombs and grappling hook to deal with them.
Well, OK, it doesn't come with weapons, but the Internet's a big place. I'm sure you could find something useful to fill the pouches with. Jelly, perhaps?