Higher! Stronger! Dumber! Yes, it's the Selfie Olympics!
For reasons that are as obvious as they are painful, there is now a competition that will prove who is truly more self-absorbed.
Mankind must never stand still.
It must strive toward progress and prove to the universe that it is a singular intelligence.
I am delighted, therefore, to announce the next step in humanity's self-development: The Selfie Olympics.
The idea, as far as I can see, is to find the one, true, golden expression of self-expression. I am grateful to Hypervocal for discovering this gem, one to which many have already contributed.
The original Twitter feed was named The Selfie Olympics. However, perhaps fearing the wrath of the only lawyers who might be more enthusiastic than Apple's -- those of the International Olympic Committee -- the name has been altered to The Selfie Game.
Already, the feed has more than 83,000 followers and a plethora of personal depictions.
There's the man holding his TV in his right hand and his cell phone in his left, as if to offer a commentary on modern technology's ubiquity.
There's a quite large man, sitting in what appears to be a quite small car -- in what appears to be a living room.
There's a man dressed in a Footlocker uniform who has allegedly turned his bathroom into a Footlocker store. There's also a Hogwarts selfie, full of energetic creativity.
Naturally, someone has entered a picture of themselves holding an allegedly stolen payphone -- yes, ripped out of the wall, one assumes.
There are also works of art, such as one entitled "Selfieception." This, oddly enough, includes quite a few Apple products. (In addition, there are a few NSFW ones, so please tread wisely.)
What's unclear is how the gold, silver, and bronze medals will be decided. I am assuming that the ones with the most retweets will be placed on the podium, but even the Selfie Game's Facebook page doesn't display any obvious rules.
This is America. Where we celebrate ourselves. Or, rather, our self. We need a winner.