I have to fly to the hallowed depths of Texas in a couple of days in order to be at the marriage of the noted musician and Web designing guru Parker Todd Brooks to someone far smarter.
So I have immediate knowledge of how seriously people still take these wedding things. These are the occasions where hope triumphs over experience, if only for a day.
My neural ecosystem is, therefore, filled with a searing anguish on hearing about the Boston 411 Bridal & Home Show 2010. It's not that brides will be forced to mud-wrestle each other for a free Vera Wang. It's not that Elizabeth Taylor will be giving a speech about the power of wedded bliss. It's that the Boston 411 Bridal & Home Show 2010 just isn't.
It seems, according to the Boston Globe, that petty, heartless thieves used every technological means at their sniveling disposal in order to fool those who sell the bridal dream and those who buy it into parting with their money.
These spineless, loveless worms set up a Twitter page, Twitter.com/TheBoston411, on which they claimed that the event, starting March 5, would be the biggest home and bridal show in New England. They created a Facebook page, which has since been taken down. They set up a Web site, even though they clearly had nothing to do with The Boston 411 information site. They even claimed they were raising money for Haiti.
Police estimates suggest that around 5,000 people wafted onto PayPal to pay these humans (who probably have no pals at all) at least $15 per person. In addition, around 200 well-meaning, hope-hyping businesses paid exhibitor's fees of between $350 and $4,000. By my estimates, these garter-chomping scoundrels might have got off with more than $100,000.
One would have hoped and thought that these faithless infidels will be caught and forced to serve nuptial champagne dressed in tutus for the next 20 years. One wonders whether they themselves have gone through a wedding, whether they understand the uncontrolled excitement with which brides, mothers-in-law, wedding planners and, who knows, Jennifer Aniston might have been looking forward to what promised to be an occasion of infinite promises.
Instead, they caused dreams of joy, tulle, and bargains to be washed away on a veritable Charles River of tears. May their spouses leave them for a goat.