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Google's Alpha-bet shows weakness of Google brand

Technically Incorrect: There may be good reasons why Google has created its new holding company. One, though, might be to alleviate some of the negatives of the Google image.

Chris Matyszczyk

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


Can these Alpha-males create a new image, as well as a new entity? JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/Getty Images

It's because Larry and Sergey want to be more like Warren Buffett.

It's because Larry and Sergey are bored with running Google and want to focus on constructing the future.

It's because Larry and Sergey want to make those arrogant halfwits on Wall Street feel good.

In the hours since Google on Monday announced the creation of a new uber-entity called Alphabet, praise has been heaped upon the company. Explanations for this latest corporate wizardry have rained down like jigsaw pieces tossed in the air by a child.

All of these explanations may bear truth. Who am I to delve into the nerdy knowledge banks of Google's founders?

I can't help, though, considering one of the obvious results of this move. You might find it ephemeral. You might even find it marginally potty. But if I owned a clever little startup right now and Google came a-calling, I'd think: "Ew."

However, if Alphabet knocked on my door, I might at least offer a "Hmm. Really? That's interesting."

The more Google has spread across the world like a skin that envelopes all, the more the word "Google" has come to symbolize a certain totalitarianism.

It may not be literally accurate. But all too often we hear of European governments and other entities singling out Google as one of the world's most intrusive and nefarious actors. Who can forget Wikileaks' Julian Assange "="" shortcode="link" asset-type="article" uuid="e98b787c-fe28-43cb-8b88-301fa4324b8a" slug="assange-dubs-google-privatized-nsa-pillories-eric-schmidt" link-text="describe Google as " section="news" title="Assange dubs Google 'privatized NSA,' pillories Eric Schmidt" edition="us" data-key="link_bulk_key" api="{"id":"e98b787c-fe28-43cb-8b88-301fa4324b8a","slug":"assange-dubs-google-privatized-nsa-pillories-eric-schmidt","contentType":null,"edition":"us","topic":{"slug":"tech-industry"},"metaData":{"typeTitle":null,"hubTopicPathString":"Tech Industry","reviewType":null},"section":"news"}"> "?

Such characterizations can weigh heavy on a brand. Can it really be a coincidence that Hooli, the mean, evil machine portrayed in the HBO series "Silicon Valley," is a mirror image of Google?

Google has tried valiantly -- and sometimes brilliantly -- to get beyond the image of a company that's coldly engineering-focused, painfully non-human.

But its very reliance on search, its very dominance in that area, its lassitude in respecting privacy and its very insistence on wanting to take every last piece of your data -- the creation of Google+ being the most desperate attempt -- makes the company seem overbearing and difficult to trust.

It might seem mere semantics, but finding a different word for a new uber-entity might help in changing Google's image.

Those of an especially -- and perhaps unfairly -- jaundiced nature might think this not dissimilar to when tobacco company Philip Morris suddenly became, oh, Altria.

The human mind, though, is both malleable and forgetful. It can see a shiny new thing and forget the slightly less shiny old thing that gave it birth. It wants new things to cross its path because new things offer hope, while old things are tinged with a certain mustiness.

Google must surely hope that Alphabet represents something different. Something different from Google, that is.