Google to Glassholes: Stop it
Google, perhaps mindful of some negative reactions to its revolution, offers a dos and don'ts guide. The don'ts mostly revolve around human behavior.
It's hard being misunderstood.
Sometimes you have to ask yourself: "Is it these desperate ingrates who don't see my genius? Or might it be me?"
Why did this thought enter my troubled day? Oh, because Google has just released a guide to help its Explorers behave.
In the past, Google has been happy to let its pioneers do their thing. Now, after one or two got a pie in the ear, Google is keen to help the nerds assimilate with the world as it sadly is.
The guide is a series of dos and don'ts. Naturally, the don'ts are more interesting.
The first seems something of a reaction to fears that prolonged use of the device might not be wise. Last week, Google Glass enthusiast Chris Barrett told me how he'd experienced severe headaches when he wore it for any length of time.
The first of Google's new don'ts tells users not to "Glass-Out." It explains: "Glass was built for short bursts of information and interactions that allow you to quickly get back to doing the other things you love."
And "things you love" shouldn't include eight hours of creepy photography.
Still, this guide doesn't mention health reasons. Rather: "If you find yourself staring off into the prism for long periods of time you're probably looking pretty weird to the people around you."
As if you don't already look pretty weird to the people around you.
While it's helpful of Google's guide to remind people not to wear Glass when playing contact sports, it's clear the company is most concerned about social reaction.
Its third don't reminds Explorers that they will, indeed, be stared at and begs them to be polite.
The last don't seems like the most significant. Don't "be creepy or rude (aka, a "Glasshole")."
This might remind the owners of the Lost Lake Cafe in Seattle of the customer who didn't appreciate being asked to take his device off and the fuss that ensued.
Not only was he asked to leave, but the restaurant then described him and his kind as "man children stinkin up the joint."
Google seems concerned that Glassholes are stinkin' up the company's hopefully addictive joint. As the guide explains: "Breaking the rules or being rude will not get businesses excited about Glass and will ruin it for other Explorers."
What next? Google Glass Finishing School For Nerds?