Gift ideas for your dysfunctional boss
Gift giving and receiving is usually a joyous event. But when it's between employee and boss, there may be a lot more going on than meets the eye.
This might have been more timely a week or two ago, but there's always Boss's Day (October 16th in case you were wondering) and the inevitable birthday. Regardless of the occasion, giving and receiving gifts are typically joyous experiences for both parties.
But when it comes to an employee giving his or her boss a gift, well, let's just say there might be a whole lot more going on there than meets the eye.
Your boss will likely think you're sucking up; dysfunctional executives love that sort of thing. But in fact, you're sending a message. And whether it's out in the open or subtly or even not-so-subtly hidden is entirely up to you. In any case, here are some novel suggestions for the nutcase boss on your gift list.
Blood pressure monitor. Ostensibly because you care about him or her, giving this to your Type A boss is really about your own health. Maybe when his blood pressure hits 160/100 he'll stop ranting and raving at you and go out and take a walk or something.
Book on controlling people. Bosses are always trying to get employees to read books and take classes to improve their skills. Why not the other way around? It's a great way to send a not-so-subtle message about what you think of their behavior. This is one of my favorites.
High-tech market analysis tool. Decision-making for dysfunctional executives is often more about their emotional state or superstition than anything resembling logic or deductive reasoning. Who knows, buying and selling stocks at random might actually be an improvement.
Poizin "the wine to die for". What better way to reduce the stress of acting out and throwing tantrums like a spoiled child all day long than a glass or two of vino. Not only is this very good wine, but like the book, your boss may even get the hint.
"Greatest boss" clock. Sadly, dysfunctional bosses are often in denial about their behavior. Most believe they have to be tough for their employee's own good. More than likely your boss will think you mean it, but you and your coworkers will know the truth.
Favorite pet picture frame. Dysfunctional executives don't relate well to people, which explains why they act like self-important jerks much of the time. But they love their pets, which they often elevate to iconic status. Otherwise your boss can use it for the person she loves most - herself.
Now you know the real reason why it's better to give than to receive ... at least until you become a boss and start getting strange gifts with double meanings.