Geeks threatened by Pork Board over unicorn meat

A 12-page cease and desist letter is sent to over its April Fools' amusement, in which it tried to sell canned unicorn meat as "the new white meat."

Sometimes lawyers don't always spend their time in the most productive ways. Indeed, one wonders whether the lawyers at the firm of Faegre and Benson spent their time productively in reportedly sending out a 12-page cease and desist letter to the japesters at

I have no nag in this spat, as I can no more understand geeks than I can understand lawyers. Yet is adamant that this cease and desist is heartily genuine and deeply critical of its attempt to sell unicorn meat. Specifically, canned unicorn meat.

Should you be frustrated at missing the opportunity to obtain some of this unicorn meat, please believe me when I tell you that there is no such thing. Whatever your daddy may have told you in order to get you to sleep so that he could get himself to his barcalounger, unicorns do not exist.

Very good with french fries and broccoli, I understand. CC: Eggybird/Flickr

The fact that unicorns do not exist might have given some people a clue, even those at the National Pork Board, that ThinkGeek's sale of canned unicorn meat might be a joke. The other thing that might have sent a small smoke signal might have been the fact that this fine product was being offered on April 1.

Still, the National Pork Board remained unamused--particularly with the thinking geeks' declaration that canned unicorn meat was "the new white meat."

Perhaps some of you are aware that the National Pork Board has wanted you to know for quite a few years that its own porcine offering was "the other white meat." So the lawyers' letter was headlined: "Infringement and Dilution of Trademark Rights of National Pork Board."

Perhaps some of you might be unaware, however, and I am grateful to my regular reading of Iowa Farmer Today for telling me this, that the National Pork Board is allegedly on the verge of replacing its long-trotting slogan.

So why might the fine lawyers of Faegre and Benson have needed to pen such a piggishly long letter to the obviously well-meaning folks over at

Feel free to offer your suggestions and, to the author of the best, I will send my exclusive recipe for deep-fried dragon wings.

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