Behold, Internet mortal, the first episode of Adventures in Tech, CNET's new show that takes you on a visual safari, directly into the untamed jungle of your favourite tech topics.
Our premiere feature takes a look at Nintendo's late '80s icon: the magnificent Game Boy, which deployed smart hardware and one shape-spinning supergame to became the industry's most unlikely success story.
Hit play on the video above to dive inside the Game Boy's four-colour folklore, nab yourself some impress-your-pals knowledge, and have your nostalgia gland massaged by some of Nintendo's classic '90s adverts. Go on, click play. It feels great.
Teach us, oh Game Boy
Detonate a nostalgia bomb with our gorgeous Game Boy pictures See full gallery
Nintendo's handheld was elegance cast in plastic, stripped of the battery-hogging colour display that dragged down rivals like the Sega Game Gear and Atari's Lynx. It was a streamlined, low-powered masterpiece, finely honed to deliver pure gaming entertainment.
The latest crop of consoles bundle everything, plus the kitchen sink. They're monstrously powerful, but you wouldn't use the world "elegant" to describe the Xbox One. The console itself is big enough to crush a duck, or even a decent-size goose, and the cable that powers the is as thick as Carl Weathers' Arnie-wrestling arm.
Tune in again for more Adventures!
Adventures in Tech will be bringing you incredible tech features every two weeks, with topics ranging from ancient, beloved devices, to modern marvels from Samsung, to asking piercing questions about the likes of Apple, and more.
The CNET team has been slaving over a hot stove to create a show we hope you'll love, and want to share with your similarly tech-addled pals. Are there any particular gadgets or topics you'd like to see us cover? Have fun with our first episode, and stick your feedback in the comments! As long as it's friendly, because it has been a long few weeks and we're kind of on the edge.
P.S. Our producer cut it from the video, but here's a close up of the "Four Shades of Grey" novel that features in the above episode. We'll understand if you need to grab a cold shower.