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Forget Mark Cuban. I want the 'Monkey Boy'

ABC chose the wrong tech billionaire to participate in its upcoming reality show. If the network really wanted sizzle, Steve Ballmer is the hands-down choice.

Charles Cooper Former Executive Editor / News
Charles Cooper was an executive editor at CNET News. He has covered technology and business for more than 25 years, working at CBSNews.com, the Associated Press, Computer & Software News, Computer Shopper, PC Week, and ZDNet.
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Charles Cooper
2 min read

News.com Poll

Next Dancing with the Stars tech celeb?
Now that billionaire entrepreneur Mark Cuban will be on the reality TV show, let us know which geek icon you'd most like to see put on his (or her) dancing shoes.

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. We already know that he knows how to rip it up in front of an audience.
Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Who wouldn't want to see this?
Virgin tycoon Sir Richard Branson. With Mark Cuban in, this seems like an obvious next choice.
Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. Woz can play polo on a Segway, so he must be able to dance.
Google executive Marissa Mayer. Something tells us that she might surprise everybody.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. Sure, he's young and spry, but could he dance in those Adidas flip-flops he always wears?
TechCrunch's Michael Arrington. We'd see a whole new side to the Silicon Valley icon.
Oracle CEO Larry Ellison. He's already well-known as a colorful character with flashy tastes.
Digg founder Kevin Rose. The ladies will go wild for this charming cutie!
The "Star Wars Kid." If he can maneuver a lightsaber that well, he can probably dance too.
Karl Rove: He's already a YouTube sensation, thanks to his . Now he's got some free time on his hands, too.
Somebody else. Leave a TalkBack comment!



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ABC chose the wrong tech billionaire.

I read the news today (oh boy) about Mark Cuban's upcoming appearance on the ABC television series Dancing with the Stars. I don't know what kind of shape Marky Mark is in though the good folks at ValleyWag managed to dig up a photo depicting Cuban in pre-strut form.

Still, the programming geniuses at ABC think this is a good choice. Maybe so. Could be the guy is a regular Fred Astaire in geek's clothing. However it turns out, one can only hope Cuban doesn't bark at the judges if he fails to win. Better known to the general public as the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Cuban has paid a veritable fortune in fines for criticizing the NBA's referees over the years.

Crazy like a fox. I've known Cuban since he was a computer retailers back in Texas in the 1980s. The guy knows how to wrap the media around his left pinky. And he's done it again.

If the suits are open to listening to second opinions, who wouldn't prefer to see Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer take a spin on the floor with a scantily costumed partner (and I'm not talking about Bill Gates.) Anyone who's ever watched the "Monkeyboy" video can't wait for a second installment.

Ballmer versus Cuban? Forgetaboutit. It's not even close.