Who needs Google Earth when you've got Jill Wade's piercing eyes?
The great-grandmother from Devon, in southwest England, wandered out into her snowy garden and found marks that looked like they had been left by something with very strange cloven hoofs. A Budweiser Clydesdale that had, perhaps, lost its way on the way home from the pub?
Oh, no. These may well be the hoofprints of the devil.
The legend, as told in those parts, has Satan himself, on February 8, 1855, going on a 100-mile trek across the English countryside.
In case you're wondering what kind of hoof the devil possesses, just below his red ankles and to the left of his three-pronged fork--well, they're not exactly size 9s. They are 5 inches long, and the stride is somewhere between 11 and 17 inches.
Ms. Wade was truly stunned. Perhaps she thought the devil had returned to punish the United Kingdom for giving the world colonialism--or its modern incarnation, Gordon Ramsay.
"I looked in the garden, and it really intrigued me. It was a complete blanket of snow--there was no other marks in the snow at all," she told the Telegraph.
In her perplexed and bedeviled state, Ms. Wade immediately called the Center for Fortean Zoology. The biologists apparently appreciated the similarity to the legendary devil's gait, but they remain unconvinced that Satan has been on a tour of Devon. However, they are featuring the images on their site. This is very suspicious.
Just as CNET's Caroline McCarthy smelled a rancid conspiracy when Atlantis appeared on Google Earth, so I feel the British are hiding something. (Oh, don't they always?)
I believe the world's foremost scientists should be immediately dispatched to England, together with some men of the cloth and the producers of "The Exorcist."