I have always imagined that an evening with Elizabeth Taylor might be even more fun than an evening with her longtime friend, Michael Jackson.
She has tales to tell. And one can only surmise that she would have a fine, elegantly edgy way of telling them.
Taylor, who was just as delightful as a little girl riding in big horse races as she was channeling Cleopatra, is currently in the hospital. She is also currently in the thrall of, as Shaq would have it, Twitteronia.
Yes, the 77-year-old twitters with eloquence. (Her Twitter moniker is Dame Elizabeth.)
She tells her more than 6,000 followers that she is excited about Michael Jackson's upcoming concerts in London. She is appreciative of the tomatoes from her garden.
But it is only when it comes to animals that her tweeted feelings become art.
"I've never been double-crossed by a sweet puppy or a lion in the jungle," she tweeted Friday.
This was a dramatic precursor to her own deepest need while in hospital. No, she wasn't desirous of the company of handsome men, Hollywood producers (generally, not handsome men), or excited fans.
Instead, as she tweeted to her friend, the former model and now successful businesswoman, Kathy Ireland: "Thanks Darling for the beautiful flowers and all the prayers. Now can you just get my puppy past hospital security. Love."
One can only clutch one's shamrock in the hope that Ireland is a talented smuggler.