Doctors fear you'll be Wiik at the knees this Christmas
With Wii being such a popular Christmas gift, doctors are preparing for an avalanche of game-related injuries.
Laptop-related repetitive-strain digit injuries have nothing on this.
It appears that the latest technology that is maiming society is the wonderfully engaging Wii.
Yes, the medical profession is adopting the brace position in expectation of Wii-aggravated knees, elbows, backs, fingers, and thumbs this holiday season. All fueled by humanity's obsessive need to gift and conquer.
Deep-thinking medicos at Leeds Teaching Hospital in the U.K. have already identified a condition they call "Wii knees."
And doctors from all over the Kingdom have claimed they are recognizing injuries that they themselves have sustained in an effort to keep up with their children, their illicit lovers, or their vast, eternal Wiigos.
It seems to me that before considering whether there might be a possibility of sustaining a wee touch of Wii knee, players this holiday season should first consider whether, before beginning to play their 12-year-olds, they are not already legless.
I am more inclined to believe that an excess of fizzy liquid might be the cause of most supposedly Wii-related sprains, rather than actual excessive physical exertion.
So remember, don't drink and drive. Don't drink and serve. And, most definitely, do not even contemplate drinking and volleying.
You know I'm only saying this because I care.