'Dell dude': I can save Dell, dude
He's still young. His mind is all there. Yes, the boy from the old "Dude, you're getting a Dell" ads says he has what it takes to make Dell an indelible success again.
I already know what you're thinking. I'm like that sometimes.
You're thinking: "What is he, high?"
You're thinking that because Ben Curtis, he who once used to invade your home through your TV and say, "You're getting a Dell, dude," believes he can make a comeback and resurrect the brand.
You're also thinking that because Curtis was once arrested for trying to buy marijuana in New York.
On the other hand, it's clear that Dell isn't in quite the shape that it used to be, and vultures -- I mean, admirers -- are circling to lend a hand.
Perhaps this is why it took just one e-mail from Bloomberg to Curtis in order to learn of his master plan.
"I think they're making a huge mistake and simply need to bring back the Dell Dude!," he wrote. "That's it. That's all they need to do. If they brought me back, their sales, stock and media presence would skyrocket. That is by FAR the smartest move they could make."
Curtis knows smart. When he was ludicrously arrested in the pot bust, he did happen to be wearing a kilt.
It would be fair, too, to ask what the word "Dell" has conjured in people's minds since the company chose to release Curtis because of that arrest.
In my mind, the name is associated most strongly with "The Rich Kids of Instagram" and Padma Lakshmi's baby.
Why wouldn't a return of the Dude, deftly conceived, at least create a little renewed affection for the brand?
Perhaps it could start with him living in Colorado, creating a brand-new (and very legal) pot-growing business and running the whole thing on Dell machinery.
In successive episodes, he rises in the business world, all the time making the Dell product more aspirational. One day, he is asked to become CEO of Dell.
The tagline? "Dell Will Get You Higher," of course.