Dear Heidi Klum, in Georgia they clear out their naked selfies most
With Heidi Klum exposing her backside on Twitter, app maker KS Mobile reveals exclusively which states clean their phones and which don't. In Wyoming, they just can't quit their naughty selfies.
Some people are better at giving than receiving.
It may well be that they are merely self-centered. It may also be that they have self-preservation at their core.
So when it comes to the roastingly hot trend of the naked selfie, they realize there's a danger. What happens on your smartphone may not stay on your smartphone -- and, frankly, may not be so smart.
You might not yet be aware that the weekend just past, Heidi Klum decided to post a selfie of her naked derriere on Twitter for all to see. Well, for all to see her sunburn.
She must have felt confident that it would not fall beneath the wrong eyes. The same thought must have crossed Sofia Vergara, who posted a slightly risque (to some American eyes, perhaps) shot too.
However, when you send or receive a disrobed selfie, can you be sure it's safe?
This entirely altruistic thought has crossed the minds of the deep, delving brains at KS Mobile.
You might remember this company. It is the one that claims its Clean Master software can really, really.
In a fit of public-spiritedness, I nakedly weaseled out some important numbers from these smartphone cleaners.
They purport to show where people are most likely to wipe their phones clean, so that no interloper, new lover, or old parent can peer inside and suffer cerebral conniptions.
The champion of phone cleanliness is Georgia. Apparently, Georgians clean out their phones an average of 2.3 times a week. Some people don't clean their apartments 2.3 times a year, so this is astonishingly peachy -- or merely beautifully paranoid.
Closely behind are California, Texas, and New York. Rounding out the Top 10 are Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Ohio, Virginia, and Illinois.
However, which states seem slow -- or simply reluctant -- to clear incriminating evidence?
Wyoming, Delaware, Alaska, North Dakota, and Montana round out the bottom, it seems.
I cannot imagine why these states might not be able (or willing) to quit their naked selfies -- and, of course, other potentially incriminating data.
You are free to conclude that in these places there resides an advanced form of social behavior, in which no one pries and everyone is proud of their digital deeds.
You might also conclude that revenge porn is simply not a concept that has yet taken hold in these parts.
I am tending toward the theory that they just want to be caught. It gives them a frisson of excitement.
Still, KS Mobile's Clean Master product manager told me: "People need to clean their caches regularly with smartphone tools like Clean Master, and passwords to protect their phones to safeguard their privacy."
Oh, but can such a hardcore sell ever be enough?
Recent political history has shown that none of our data is truly safe. There are records of it in all sorts of official computers.
So if you happen to wipe your overexposed selfie from your own phone, you can be sure that it still sits on some cloud, waiting to bare itself all over again.
Beauty is like a cockroach. It never really dies.