Crave turns 5,000: A retrospective

Yes, Crave looks all new-wave and fancy and youthful, but did you know it just turned 5,000? That's right.

On Friday, July 27, Crave celebrated its 5,000th post. With this monumental occasion, it gives us an opportunity to look back on the magic we've experienced since last October.

So here we go: the best and worst that Crave has to offer. We may even add new awesomeness and atrocities as our collective memory bank kicks in.

Crave's faves

Best convergence of Crave obsessions:
Hello Kitty pirate cell phone charm
Cravers Mike Yamamoto and Caroline McCarthy are generally fascinated and disgusted by Hello Kitty-themed objects--so much so that they write about every one of them they can find. Similarly, no one on the Crave team can sit idly and let a pirate-themed gadget go unreported. With this too-good-to-be-true Hello Kitty pirate cell-phone dangle, two worlds come together in a most marvelous and disgusting fashion.

Worst convergence of Crave obsessions:
$30,000 Hello Kitty doghouse
Dogs and cats seldom get along. That said, we can't speak to relationship tendencies between lap dogs and cartoon Japanese cats, but we're not about to pay $30,000 to find out. This cutesy, crystal-encrusted monstrosity is available for those who'd rather imprison their tiny dog in a chandelier than buy a hybrid car. Same price.

Best reminder of how awesome the future will be:
Future of tech slide show
There is no stopping the future. Teleportation, flying cars, androids, and dream recorders will be here before you know it. (Then, Steve Jobs will reinvent them all a couple of years later with a $150 markup.) Once these things become a reality, they'll become mundane, commonplace, and boring, which is why you should appreciate the future right now. Take a look at our "Future of tech" slide show, where Jasmine France and Alex Samlihan take on the future of tomorrow...today.

Best way to save energy:
Use rad slides
Instead of elevators, install mega-awesome twisty slides in your office building, just like they have at the Tate Modern Art Gallery in London. Getting upstairs is best achieved by using a sweet jet pack.

Best advice for flying saucer owners:
Top 5 UFO dork-out tips
There are big, bad flying saucers in the works right now, but you're probably still tooling around with your very own personal Moller M200G saucer. That's understandable; it's a classic. To assist you on your personal, 10-feet-up space journeys, Caroline McCarthy has some great advice.

Best kitchen appliance:
Pirate toaster
It's in aching need of a Hello Kitty/pirate toast-theme switch, but that's about the only thing that isn't sensational about this toaster. It creates pirate-themed breakfast bread, and an obtuse reference to a Guns 'n' Roses song is even printed on it ("Sweet toast of mine.") Just because it doesn't make sense doesn't mean it isn't the best thing ever created in the history of man.

Ferraris that, for some reason, are not cars:
These items
I like meatball sandwiches, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'd buy a new computer that had "Meatball sandwiches!" printed on the side of it. For whatever reason, Ferrari is plastering its logo all over various pieces of technology, from cell phones to boomboxes to binoculars. I don't get it. The knitted Ferrari is kind of mind-blowing, though.

Best use of Swarovski crystals:
The Swarovski LP bus
Yes, it costs $487, and yes, it will probably ruin your entire record collection faster than you'd even expect, but this miniature record-playing VW bus is still the best convergence of Swarovski crystals and technology we've seen yet. And no, that's not saying much.

Worst use of Swarovski crystals:
Jeez, take your pick

Most TalkBack comments:
On shovelware: A rant
What tech topic most inspired the most feedback from Crave readers? No, not the iPhone. Hello Kitty wasn't even on the map. The big winner in terms of TalkBack posts was Matthew Elliott's rant on the ills of shovelware. Yes, shovelware: that pre-loaded free trial junk that comes unwanted with practically every new PC. Everybody hates it, except for a few schadenfreude-fueled Mac fans.

Best TalkBack comment from my mom:
Pantsgate '07
There is no escaping mom. There is especially no escaping mom when you shoot a video in which you are not wearing pants. Be forewarned: if you post a video in which you are not wearing pants, my mom will scold you and make you feel guilty about shocking my grandmother.

Crave milestones

First post
The mother of all game desks

1,000th post
New iRiver looks like lucky charm

2,000th post
So much wine, so little time...keep track of it with this

3,000th post
Eight-core Mac Pros arrive

4,000th post
My BlackBerry Curve arrives!

5,000th post
"8-track" hydrogen cartridge for cars