"Why pay someone else big $$$ to wait in line if the only thing between you and the front of the line is a good diversion?" the post asks, claiming to come from a trademarked company called "Over Here, Jerks." "Our tactics are guaranteed to be safe, effective and even humorous!"
Photos accompanying the posting include a giant clown bicycle, a scary-looking bear, a two-headed snake and a piece of poop.
The advertisement goes on to stress that "services are not limited to lines! Want to kidnap your neighbor's obnoxious dog? Glue your boss' furniture to the ceiling? Enjoy our bulk discounts on tranquilizer darts and industrial-strength adhesives."
Looks like somebody watches The Office too much.