Cows' lady parts text farmers when it's time for a booty call

A female cow's privates aren't so private anymore with Anemon, a system that senses when she is in heat and texts an alert to the farmer.

Anemon cow
This is where Swiss cheese comes from. An Anemon-equipped cow appears on Swiss television. Video screenshot by Amanda Kooser/CNET

Old McDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O. And on his farm he had a cow with a wireless intravaginal temperature sensor. E-I-E-I-O.

Swiss farmers are helping to test a new system that sends them alerts when their dairy cows are in heat. Stresses and supplements have led to cows showing fewer visual signs of being in heat. That's where technology is stepping in.

The system from Swiss company Anemon consists of a wireless sensor (installed where the sun don't shine) and a transmitter box that attaches to the cow's collar. An accelerometer in the transmitter collects activity data.

When the cow reaches an optimal temperature (also know as "feeling frisky"), the transmitter text messages the farmer to arrange for a bull rendezvous or artificial insemination.

I know what you're wondering. How often do you have to fish it out of there and change the batteries? The sensor runs on two AAAA batteries that keep it going for a year.

Anemon says the system boosts heat detecting accuracy rates to 90 percent. Besides text messages, temperatures and activity levels can be tracked over time on a computer.

The whole purpose of the system is to improve successful insemination rates and save farmers money. Also, it gives single farmers a great excuse to escape from a bad date. "I'm sorry, I have to go. My cow is in the moooooood."

Anemon illustration
Here's how Anemon works. Anemon

(Via Grist)

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