See Colbert slam gadgets gone wild

The satirical news show host uses the Vessyl, a digital cup that can tell Coke from Diet Coke, to poke fun at Silicon Valley and the digitization of everything.

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He loves it. He really loves it. 'The Colbert Report,' Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

The future will be digitized and we will all love it.

We will have the Internet of Things which will, presumably, include the Internet of the Internet. Joy will be endless.

In the meantime, however, growing pains can sometimes be observed.

Progressive activist Stephen Colbert finds himself perturbed, indeed, by one digital step forward.

It's called the Vessyl. This is a digital cup that can tell you what's in your Coke. Yes, just like the can can.

In Colbert's eyes, this is the most profoundly painful item one could ever desire. (Here's CNET News' non-satirical take.)

There are so many times, indeed, that the Vessyl, can be useful. Such as when you put a Coke in your cup and it tastes like diet. And, um, other times.

Of course, the Vessyl tracks your "real-time hydration needs." In real time. Really.

"I am so tired of making up my mind hours after I'm done doing what I will have decided," mused Colbert.

Let's not forget that Vessyl "holds liquid and can sit upright on a table."

Colbert marveled that it took seven years to design Vessyl. Perhaps that's why it costs $199.

Still, Colbert put his mental vessels to work in order to create a sister product, "toylyt." I'll leave you to see how very complementary that sister product is.

Perhaps, though, we should really wonder -- if we haven't already -- that much of digitization may be absolutely, entirely, crushingly useless and serve only those who will make money out of it.

 

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