If you don't like Coke's polar bears, you simply haven't come to terms with your childhood yet.
It really wasn't all your Mom and Dad's fault. So please try and enjoy the central and socially addictive role that the cuddly white ones will be playing during the Super Bowl.
They will be watching the ad online at CokePolarBowl.com. And they'll be reacting to every Tom Brady sack and every New York Giant fumble.
Coke promises that not only will you be able to chat with the bears while the game is going on, but also that the TV spots will alter, depending on how much pummeling Tom Brady takes from the Giants' linebackers.
There will be a New England bear and a New York bear, both ready to do whatever East Coast bears do. Mashable reports that the bears will be manipulated by two employees of one of Coke's ad agencies.
Some might be concerned that, ad agency employees being as they are, they might imbibe something more than mere Coke to get them through such a sensitive professional task.
Still, who wouldn't enjoy being able to play the role of the Giants bear and react to a New York touchdown by tweeting a friend who happens to live and breathe Patriot?
[Disclosure: I do occasionally advise Coke, but I had nothing to do with the creation of this idea.]