Bro Lifeline wingman app covers your butt

App for Android and iPhone acts as a sidekick when you're out picking up chicks, late to work, or in need of a pep talk after a breakup. It's just as cheesy and painful as a real-life wingman.

Bro Lifeline excuse
Yep, the excuses are pretty much all like this. TechiXoft

The concept of a best-buddy wingman has thrived at the cineplex, but it's much harder to find one in real life. That's where the Bro Lifeline app steps up to watch your back when you're picking up chicks or getting in trouble.

The app features a menu of options that include pick-up lines, excuses, pep talks, and background noises. It's available in free and ad-free 99-cent paid versions for Android and iPhone.

The pick-up lines include such cheesy, painful standard fare as "What time do you have to be back on heaven?" and "Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes." Do those really work?

There are also some creepy lines. "You are the reason why even at the saddest part of my life, I smile. Even at confusion, I understand. Even in betrayal, I trust. Even in fear of pain, I love." That's almost guaranteed to get you a restraining order.

The background noises sound fairly convincing, but you can't make a call on your phone and play them at the same time. You'll have to convince your buddies to also download the app so you can pretend you're at a train station rather than a strip club when your mom calls.

The excuses are designed to get you out of a bad date or avoid a speeding ticket. Good luck with that. The officer might get suspicious when she sees you reading your lousy excuse off of your iPhone.

The pep talk section is stocked with platitudes designed to encourage you to talk to that lady, get through a breakup, or take the plunge and get married. "You have the greatest pre-nup in the world. It's called love." Now, go pop the question, Romeo!

 

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