These selfies might get you killed. Please stop taking them
That huge thing in the background of your selfie might seem slow and fuzzy, but it could do some major damage in the time you wait for autofocus to get the shot just right.
Bear selfies are now a thing. A beary dangerous thing http://t.co/pHwjSuQbeB #bearselfie pic.twitter.com/l9FhAlLu45
— Stuff.co.nz News (@NZStuff) October 28, 2014
Before we get into the details of this story, let's get a few basic wildlife biology facts out of the way. Most bears in this world are much bigger than you, much stronger than you and much faster than you. They also climb trees, so that's not a foolproof plan to get away from one.
So why haven't bears conquered humanity and set up global honey conglomerates? Honestly, it's because most bears aren't conqueror types and typically don't attack humans unless they feel threatened or are starving.
So to keep this eons-long truce between our species in place, it is imperative that we reciprocate by not acting like clowns while visiting our beautiful forests and the other domains of the mighty bear.
While this should be common sense, we do live in a world where dudes sneak up on tigers to get sweet snaps for their Tinder profiles. Now, it seems enough of us having been posing for selfies in front of bewildered bears that forest rangers in California have taken the unusual step of warning visitors to the woods to keep their distance from those massive wild mammals, even though they make great photo fodder.
"Bears are unpredictable, wild animals and may attack if threatened," Nancy Gibson, forest supervisor for the Lake Tahoe Basin Management Unit, told CBS 13 TV in Sacramento.
Bears are a little bit like Generation Xers -- very few of them are on Snapchat. So they aren't likely to be accustomed to people making odd, wild gestures nearby while pointing a strange, sometimes flashing device in their direction.
Being forced to photobomb someone's selfie -- and in your own home, no less -- is enough to make anyone want to go on a mauling spree. And if that happens, everyone loses, because a bear who attacks a person may be captured and killed.
So next time you visit the forest, please try not to become the person who finally triggers our overthrow at the claws of those huge, fuzzy land mammals next door, just to send a crazy bear snap that makes you look like a jackass anyway.