Apple's Quarterly Results

As reviewed by a surprising source.

The Macalope's gracious and enormously well-endowed readers know he frequently gives ZDNet's Adrian Kingsley-Hughes a hard time. They also know that it's genuinely deserved each and every time and is administered not out of anger, but out of love.

Well, no, not love.

Compassion?

Concern?

Eh.

How about obligation?

No. That's not it, either.

Annoyance?

Hmm.

Wait, maybe it is anger.

Well, whatever the case, because he gives him such a hard time when he gets something wrong, he feels compelled to give him some credit when he gets something right about Apple.

Plus, it's easy because, as far as the horny one knows, this is the first time it's happened.

But Kingsley-Hughes does have a pretty good recap of Apple's quarterly results. He rightly notes that it's the outlook for next quarter that seems to be the only real bad news and says:

Looking at these numbers it's hard to see why analysts are disappointed. In the weird fairytale land that most analysts seem to inhabit the idea of rolling growth is one that now expected [sic] of a company such as Apple. But in the real world it's hard for Apple, or any other company for that matter, to come out with hit products such as the iPhone all the time.

Indeed.

Now, the Macalope has some close ties to the financial industry, but (or maybe "therefore") he's often critical of it. All too often the market seems to operate on the "frightened deer" school of analytical thought.

The issue here, though, is not so much the current "panic" as it was the "irrational exuberance" of last year. It's quite likely that a lot of nitwits did buy Apple expecting it would produce iPhones and tablets and sub-$100 notebooks and free candy and magical ponies for ever and ever and ever. Apple was the closest thing they had to the supposed "no-brainer" dot-com days.

"They pick up your groceries and deliver them to you! It can't lose!"

Well, maybe these clowns are out now. So it might be a good time to buy.

Or not. Personally, other than a number of Apple shares you can literally count on one hand, the Macalope doesn't play the ponies.

Most of his money is in gold and jewels. And it's being guarded by a dragon.

Which is a pretty good system until you try to cash out.

[Disclosure: the Macalope holds an insignificant number of Apple shares. In case you missed that part.]

About the author

    Born of the earth, forged in fire, the Macalope was branded "nonstandard" and "proprietary" by the IT world and considered a freak of nature. Part man, part Mac, and part antelope, the Macalope set forth on a quest to save his beloved platform. Long-eclipsed by his more prodigious cousin, the jackalope (they breed like rabbits, you know), the Macalope's time has come. Apple news and rumormonger extraordinaire, the Macalope provides a uniquely polymorphic approach. Disclosure.

     

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