The other day I rolled up to a pump to fill up my car.
A lady in a leather jacket, hair blown by the air of at least 15 states, rolled up to me and hissed: "I was going to fill up here."
Naturally, I immediately ceded. She was on a Harley.
Harley-Davidson has a unique place in American culture, one that is characterized by a certain earthy clubbiness and a growl.
I am, therefore, torn asunder by the news that there is soon to be an electric Harley.
I was fine with Toyotas and Nissans. I could take an electric BMW too. But a Harley, the symbol of everything that is raw and right with America?
However, Harley-Davidson has just posted a YouTube video that teases an electric Harley is imminent. Imminent being tomorrow.
It's only 15 seconds long, but in those 15 seconds a plethora of jaws will strike chests, kneecaps, and earth.
Hell hath no fury like a Hell's Angel's. What will they call themselves now? Hell's An-joules?
In the video, we are on route 66. A bike of some sort goes by. It must be a Harley. But it doesn't sound like a Harley. It's quieter, more like the jet engine of a very small plane.
It's almost whiny. Harleys can't be whiny.
But we're all whiny these days, aren't we? We have to save the Earth in order to save our children, our pets, and everyone who wants to see humans become robots.
I want to believe that Harley is just playing with America's minds. I want to believe that it's about to release the loudest bike ever, one that shatters eardrums from 14 miles away.
However, I noticed the helmeteers at Visor Down, for example, have already sniffed out that there is an electric Harley being ridden on the set of the new "Avengers" movie.
They describe this machine as a "production bike."
And would Harley-Davidson really release a video with the date "6.19" if it wasn't real?
It's not as if it would be the first electric bike. Some aficionados are rather partial to the Zero SR, for example, which goes 0 to 60 in just 3.3 seconds. I'm sure it's a lovely bike. As will the new electric Harley be.
I fear, though, that a million actuaries, accountants, and project managers, for whom their Harley is their one great escape, will be suffering conniptions of self-doubt and blind panic for at least the next 24 hours.