Android Nougat? Really? Here are at least eight better names
Commentary: The Googleplex has christened the next version of Android to be nougat, after a sweet treat not all people understand. Surely we could do better?
- Finalist for the Nesta Tipping Point prize and a degree in broadcast journalism from the University of Missouri-Columbia.
Perhaps Android Nuomici would have been better?
The wait is over, and once again we have a new version of Android to look forward to, complete with a name that honors yet another sweet treat... I think. Android N will heretofore be known as Nougat, which is, uh, what the heck is nougat again? Are there no other awesome "N" treats?
Just to be clear, the Cambridge Dictionaries Online defines nougat as "a hard chewy white or pink sweet food, usually containing nuts." Perhaps the most famous nougat-based treat is a Snickers bar, but 3 Musketeers and Baby Ruth also count, as do a wide variety of nougat treats that show up in sweet shops and bakeries around the world.
So nougat is a legit dessert, to be sure, but it just doesn't have the same sort of worldwide name recognition or broad cultural gravitas as other Android monikers like Jelly Bean and Ice Cream Sandwich -- plus, it involves endless chewing and gets stuck in your teeth. Even though the new name may baffle some, it was apparently chosen from suggestions submitted by the public for the first time.
With apologies to the delicious constellation of nougat confections the world over, here are eight other "N" treats that have a better ring to them:
Nesquick - Pour a little of this chocolate-y goodness from childhood in your milk to convert it from boring to awesome... much like pouring a certain operating system into a mobile device converts it from a brick to a mini miracle machine.
Nutella - Just a little bit of cocoa and a lot of hazelnuts go a long way. This dessert was born out of the supply shortages of World War II, giving it a worthy origin story.
New York Cheesecake - This was the original code name for Android N, which disqualifies it from being the official version name. That's unfortunate for the missed Frank Sinatra tie-ins alone.
Nectarine - Most of the Android version names so far haven't exactly been the healthiest options around; I say the time for some natural sweetness in the form of delicious fresh fruit has come.
Neapolitan Ice Cream - Android has taken so much heat for fragmentation over the years, choosing a name that honors the unification of three classic flavors could be a big first step to showing a commitment to addressing the issue.
Necco - Remember this stuff? It was basically like chalk you could eat. If Crystal Pepsi is coming back, perhaps it's time to bring this one back, too -- and an ideal way for Android to show that it's hip and down with the retro '90s trend.
Nuomici - Any tech giant is going to be interested in a presence in Asia, with its billions of consumers, and Google could have given a nice nod to Android fans across the Pacific by naming N after this Hong Kong dessert.
Nerds - This is the obvious choice for so many reasons. Android KitKat proved Google isn't allergic to using a brand name candy, and what better tribute to pay to its fanboys and girls everywhere?
In addition to beefed-up security updates and new emojis, N will integrate Google's interactive Assistant service and better battery efficiency. Read all about Nougat here, and let us know in the comments which other "N" sweets you would like to see attached to this version of Android in the comments.
Chalky goodness.