I wish to make a confession. I sometimes tweet pictures of the food I am eating. The reasons for this are emotional--in so many ways. My shrink, a softer-spoken version of Paul Deen, is trying (failing) to help me with it.
I am, therefore, delighted to suddenly discover that I am not alone.
For a survey from The Hartman Group--a company that seems to enjoy prying into your habits--declares that 47 percent of millennials tweet while they eat. Or is it eat while they tweet?
These rapacious souls seem to have been entirely overtaken by their gadgets, to the degree that they would rather lick their iPhone than their ice cream.
I am grateful to Media Bistro--which I assume is a place where everyone tweets and eats--for discovering this stomach-churning information.
The phrase "tweet" here is being used a little loosely. For these people actually confessed to some sort of social networking or texting during gullet-filling.
However, Facebooking in a restaurant is surely far more declasse than slipping off a nice tweet and @-ing the restaurant, just in case someone in there is following the Twitter feed.
You might think that it is merely millennials who are eater-tweeters. But, no. 32 percent of all human beings--if this study is to be swallowed whole--combine their gadgets with their knives, forks, and dessert shovels.
I delved a little more into this research and discovered that, where social networking is concerned, there are "Doers" and "Dreamers," as well as "Spectators." Which must make a considerable number of eater-tweeter millennials "Doers" and "Dreamers," rather than what might be termed by some "Entitled Egotists" and "Lazy Louche Liberals."
I also discovered that the full report costs $7,500--or around six dinners-for-two at the delightful French Laundry.
So tonight I'm going to this very nice little place that does a divine pate, a marvelous salad, and has some perky little wines from its own barrels.
I will try not to tweet the pictures. I fear I may fail. Yes, it may seem pointless. But we're all bathing in our socially networked pointlessness these days, aren't we?