Legend has it that people play video games and then go out to imitate the behavior that those games encourage. May I present evidence that this may not be the case?
According to the Associated Press, police in Polk County, Fla., were pursuing someone who allegedly stole a 1998 Dodge Durango. Suddenly, they espied the car parked outside a home in Haines City. How could they not investigate who or what might be inside the house?
I feel confident in imagining that not one police officer emitted the slightest chuckle on noticing Michael Ray Ekes, 30, in the house, allegedly doing something lesser souls might find uncontrollably gigglifying.
He was allegedly playing a video game. You could not possibly imagine which one. Go on, guess. The picture gives you a clue. Yes, it was Grand Theft Auto."
I, too, am maintaining an entirely movement-free face as I type that Ekes was charged on Thursday with grand theft auto, burglary, and drug possession. It is not funny. These are serious things--as is the fact that Ekes has already enjoyed the gaze of police officers previously. He was out on bond for--oh, please excuse me, for a second, terrible cough suddenly hit me--a charge of grand theft auto.
Who among you is confident that any alleged grand thieving of automobiles by Ekes was committed before he ever set eyes on the great fender-filching game? And who will insist that it was the game that served as his alleged inspiration?