Because excitement has now reached beyond the red area on the dial, it is important to emit every single possibility about the alleged Apple tablet for instant world examination.
So I am delighted to report that the diligent sleuths at MacRumors have discovered a possible new name for the Apple product that is about to sweep all before it, should it ever actually materialize.
Please now tuck your hands beneath your hamstrings, move slightly further from your screens, and remove all items of sharp jewelry. For the name that,, has apparently also been trademarked by a mysterious Delaware company with links to Apple is iGuide.
Please just digest this for a moment. Do you want to clutch your iGuide? Do you want to stroke your iGuide like a fine, fresh painting? Will you quickly want to slip that word into a sentence? ("Hey! I got Playboy on my iGuide!") Will you even want to create little slogans for your own use? ("I nearly died when I got my iGuide!") Now, as MacRumors itself points out, it is also possible that iGuide will turn out to be the name of the service or software used by Apple's new device, not the name of the device itself.
I know that there has been some increasing of pulse rates at the idea of iSlate, a trademarked name that was also unearthed by MacRumors. However, I have a small feeling, a kind of friendly, slightly slobbery nibbling at my ear, that real people out there aren't all that instantly comfortable with the words "tablet" and "slate."
iGuide might remind some of, for example, TV Guide and it does feel just the slightest jot more human than "tablet" or "slate".
This doesn't mean that iGuide is any more likely than any other name that has been posited so far for this product that might not actually ever exist. But if there's one thing that Apple does so very, very well, it's being human.