A Wii game for swingers? No, really
"We Dare" bills itself as a Wii and PS3 title with a wide range of "fun and flirtatious games"--including spanking. Will this be a new Friday night suburban ritual? Will this destroy society?
Thin is the line between party and sex party.
A few more drinks, a little more Prince, and suddenly what started out as innocent suburban fun turns into debauchery that will be gossiped about for years to come.
The makers of a new game for Wii and PS3 called "We Dare" seem to want to help you cross that line. Created by Ubisoft, "We Dare" is, according to Kotaku, a game that may swiftly replace social icebreakers like the key party as the favored Friday night couple-relaxing entertainment in your subdivision.
While I wouldn't dream of encouraging such socially divisive behavior, the makers of "We Dare" would like to offer you about 35 "fun and flirtatious" games that will help you relax in the company of Mrs. Galloway from number 47. And her slightly creepy husband who always wears a check cardigan.
The "We Dare" trailer is already enjoying so many parody versions posted to YouTube that Ubisoft appears to be scrambling to protect its behind--I mean, copyright (YouTube has already yanked a few of the clips).
Some people, though, will be less concerned with Ubisoft's copyright and more concerned about how uber-titillation can make their weekends complete.
Well, Kotaku notes that, according to UbiSoft's promotional materials, "We Dare" will offer: "A HILARIOUS LIGHT-HEARTED ATMOSPHERE WITH CLEVER CHARACTERS, COY MINI-GAMES AND INTERNATIONALLY POPULAR MUSIC HITS: SUCH AS 'SEX BOMB, (I'VE HAD THE) TIME OF MY LIFE' AND MANY OTHERS!"
Tom Jones and Dirty Dancing all in one night? What more could a happy marriage require?
Now, there are a couple of slight kinks in "We Dare" that I should mention. While the Wii version can handle up to four players, the PS3 version can cope with only two. Which, I suppose, makes the bottom-spanking game a little less experimental.
The second is even more troubling. "We Dare" is being offered only in Europe. A UbiSoft representative told me: "The game is not releasing in the U.S." When I wondered whether UbiSoft felt "We Dare" might be the sort of fun a fundamentalist wouldn't appreciate, the rep offered a no comment.
The PS3 version of "We Dare" is available for pre-order on Amazon U.K., with a scheduled release date of March 11. And the listing is nothing if not suggestive.
The manufacturer's description says you can "use the Wii-mote and PS3 Move controller in unbelievable ways, as you've never imagined before" (which seriously underestimates the imaginative power of the average gamer). It also explains that "some cooperative hugging helps."
I am a firm believer in cooperative hugging. I believe there is no other kind.
However, once you have cooperatively hugged, there is still more to look forward to: "The final climax of the game ends in a lighthearted, matchmaking session. Which of your friends is your best match for Love or Friendship?"
That is a question that will be debated, I fear, long into the night in so many homes in the very, very near future.